In South Asian societies, family bonds are deeply ingrained and this really shapes how men find their places in families. In this blog, we aim to explore what factors influence men the most and how we can help to reduce any challenges for them that they may be silently dealing with.
Sons hold a distinct and multifaceted role within families, often having high regard by their parents. Traditionally, sons were celebrated when they were born and became a source of pride for all those around them. In modern South Asian families, both sons and daughters are increasingly viewed as equals, and roles are becoming more flexible and shared.
The roles of sons are influenced by cultural, religious, and societal norms, and they can vary widely across regions, communities, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Commonly, sons are seen as central to the family structure and legacy. Therefore, they are the traditional bearers of the family name and carry
on their legacy after their parents. This can put quite a bit of responsibility on the son to uphold their family traditions and honour, which varies as each family has its own norms and dynamics.
Sons are also traditionally the providers and breadwinners, and this can be almost expected of them. They are expected to support their parents financially, especially in old age. In many cases, they are viewed as the primary earners, even if daughters contribute to the family income. Sons are often given a lot of authority in family matters and may have to step up and make decisions which can also put pressure on them.
Often, they will take care of aging parents and even though many women choose to do this too, men can be expected to take on this responsibility simply because they are the son in a family. This includes providing emotional, physical, and financial support. In patriarchal families, sons may inherit property and wealth, sometimes at the exclusion of daughters. This can be an advantage or even a privilege for men, however many recognise the negative impacts on their sisters and female relatives.
From this kind of upbringing, sons may internalize notions of being superior which can hinder their ability to develop equal relationships with women. Simultaneously, the pressure to uphold their “masculine” role can limit their emotional expression and vulnerability.
The Emotional and Psychological Burden
As time goes on, most families recognise that if these expectations are constantly put on them, they are more likely to feel stressed and even prefer to leave the family. Parents can project their aspirations onto them, viewing their achievements as a reflection of familial success. This dynamic can strain parent and son relationships, particularly when sons pursue careers, lifestyles, or partnerships that diverge from traditional norms.
Sons may feel immense pressure to meet familial expectations, such as achieving financial stability, fulfilling parental aspirations, and adhering to cultural traditions. The weight of these responsibilities can lead to stress, anxiety, and, in some cases a suppressed sense of individuality.
This can also cause men to turn to vices such as drink or gambling to cope with the stresses of what their families expect of them, and if they feel they are not living up to their expectations. This is where compassion and understanding are needed to change things and make a safe space for men to open up when things are feeling tough. And to know, that it is okay to admit it and not see honesty as a weakness. Being vulnerable is not being a coward but instead see it as taking a courageous step forward.
With the help of a counsellor, it is possible to recognise the potential for role conflict. For instance, a son may struggle to balance traditional expectations with modern values, especially in communities where Western ideals of independence and self-expression often clash with South Asian norms of duty.
As South Asian societies undergo growth and transformation, the role of sons is also evolving. Increasing modernisation, higher educational attainment, and greater exposure to global cultures are changing familial expectations. Sons are now more likely to share caregiving responsibilities, challenge patriarchal
norms, and support their siblings, including sisters in achieving personal and professional goals.
These shifts present opportunities for growth and adaptation within South Asian families. Counselling can encourage families to celebrate these changes as signs of progress rather than threats to tradition. By fostering a culture of change, families can redefine the role of sons in ways that prioritise emotional well-being and gender equality.
Conclusion
The role of sons in South Asian families is both deeply revered and fraught with complexities. As a counsellor, understanding these dynamics is essential for providing culturally sensitive support and guidance. By addressing the emotional, psychological, and social dimensions of their roles, counselling can empower sons to navigate their responsibilities with confidence and authenticity while fostering healthier and better family relationships. In doing so, we pave the way for a future where familial bonds are grounded in mutual respect, love, and understanding rather than rigid expectations.
Counselling can mediate these conflicts by facilitating conversations that emphasise mutual understanding and respect. Techniques such as psychodynamic therapy can help people explore their shared values while respecting individual choices. Men can benefit from strategies to assertively
communicate their needs and boundaries without severing familial ties. By learning emotional intelligence and open communication, they can help stop harmful stereotypes and support healthier dynamics.
These changes can play a pivotal role in fostering gender-sensitive dialogues within families, encouraging sons to embrace a more balanced understanding of their identity and responsibilities, leading to a more happier and fulfilled life.
Written By Dee
